A single wave is a function of the ocean in the same way that the itch on your left elbow is a function of your consciousness. Experience your itchy elbow to its full extent and you will know that I got you, I made you feel itchy, haha. Boy, you sure fell for the old itchy elbow routine.
The universe explores itself, and you are the hat on the explorer’s head, a pith helmet of sorts, fastened under the chin of the universe, festooned in front and back with bills for sun protection. But what cosmic suns would burn the neck and face of the universe? Such suns would indeed be enormous.
Spirituality is not thinking about God while peeling the potatoes. True spirituality is wondering what the potato is thinking about. Is it a happy potato? Is it a sad potato? Does the potato think you might be God? Are you a kind potato-god or a malevolent one? True spirituality is achieved when all potatoes decide to bow before you, the Zeus of Spuds.
If money is your goal, you will spend your life wasting your time, trying to gain money from game shows like Fear Factor. If you do things you don’t like doing in order to make money, you will end up in a perspex tank, covered in rats or bugs. Do not choose the path that leads to eating live spiders, for the spider is simply another aspect of the universe.
For unless one is able to live fully in the present, the future is a hoax. There is no point whatever in making plans for the future. When your plans mature, you will still be living for some other future beyond. Other such hoaxes include the moon landing, Elvis Presley’s death and don’t even get me started on JFK.
When we make music we don't do it in order to reach a certain point, such as the end of the composition. If that were the purpose of music then obviously the fastest players would be the best, which is a thing I certainly believe. In the time it has taken for me to say these words, I should be able to hear nine different songs played super-super-fast. I call my invention ‘hypertunes’ and it will be all the rage by 1975, mark my words.
This is the real secret of life -- to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play. Call your boss ‘coach’ and refer to your briefcase as ‘the old pigskin’. Typing is now renamed ‘spinning the yo-yo’ and overtime should always be referred to as ‘winning extra marbles’. Do you have RSI? Now you have ‘tennis elbow’. Is your co-worker irritating you? Not any more. Now they are ‘playing Connect Four’ at your ‘Jenga tower’.
Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth. And trying to bite your teeth is perhaps the best way to spend a spare seven minutes that I have ever found. It is highly recommended to do it while gazing at a mirror. Exceedingly good laughs await you.
